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Post by CrazyDave on Mar 28, 2005 22:57:57 GMT -5
First off, It's great!
I love the striaght forward ness and Confusion that Shelly displays in the fight, and the small amount of opening up Angel does to Her.
um.... Angel seems as close to the real him as I can remember, except maybe a bit warmer. you know.... smile-ish.... no? I don't know.... Sorry.
But, you are certainly not a Mary Sue. I can't wait to read more!
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Post by RubberPiggy on Mar 29, 2005 6:26:22 GMT -5
Thanks, Dave!
Yeah, my biggest problem with Angel was, like I mentioned before, that he never really seemed very Angely early in the series, so that made it difficult for me to decide how far to take it. But I thought of the early episodes of Angel where we'd see him help people that he didn't know, and sometimes those weak ones lost in the night were people that he would kinda open up to, and even sometimes go a bit out of his way to do so, like the wonderful moment in "I Fall to Pieces" when he goes and changes into a white shirt so the girl wouldn't think he was some dark person. And so I guess I wanted this to show that even before his whole mission-to-help-people, whether he would have believed it or not, even back then he was still the same helping-people-Angel.
Something like that, anyway! And I'm glad you're enjoying it!
~RP~
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Post by RubberPiggy on Mar 29, 2005 19:56:24 GMT -5
Chapter Four is up! Chapter Five coming soon.
~RP~
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Post by RubberPiggy on Mar 30, 2005 18:23:00 GMT -5
Chapter Five is up! Chapter Six coming soon.
And please, if you read the chapter, post some kind of responce. Or else I'm gonna worry my head off that you didn't read it because you hate it and you hate me. Thank you.
~RP~
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Post by CrazyDave on Mar 30, 2005 18:33:49 GMT -5
Nice guilt trip Sara!
Can I borrow it, Cause your the only one who liked my story....
anyway, I was wondering how you were going to introduce The buffy gang to Shelly, and I must say, you exceded what I thought might happen.
hee hee hee.... Random moster attack......
Anyway, I like your take on Xander. He is deffinetly.... The only guy in the intire show who isn't a vampire.
Wow..... I never realized that until now.....
Well, my point is (YOU had a point?) That I liked it. Alot. And I read it. Once. And I can't wait to see the next one. Really. So..... read my story!
hee heee hee
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Post by RubberPiggy on Mar 30, 2005 19:29:26 GMT -5
Thank you, Dave!
And Xander's not the only non-vampire guy. Oz isn't a vampire. But he is a werewolf... but Riley's a normal guy. But I hate him. IMO, Riley's the only non-likable character on the show.
But ANYWAY... thanks. The cafeteria scene was fun to write 'cause I actually got my DVD and watched that part of "Never Kill a Boy on the First Date" to see exactly how that lunch went before I planned for Shelly to show up. And I've realized that I love writing for Xander. It fun to think of funny things for him to say after thinking of so many serious phrases for serious moments.
I have to take a shower now, but hopefully I'll read your next chapter later. I'm eager to see what happens!
~RP~
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Post by Winston on Mar 31, 2005 9:32:29 GMT -5
THATS RIGHT, I READ IT.
Good stuff! I like it alot. Although, you're five chapters through and I'm not exactly sure where the plot falls in, other than this mysterious disappearance of her family which were probably murdered by vampires due to the ominous sunsetting and the fact that she keeps noting that she was running away from them.
You write very well for different characters.
The fight scene at first I thought was lack luster, lacking real detail and oomf, but then I realized that from Shelly's POV, a scared and frightened girl, this is probably how it seemed, punching, winning, losing. So I liked it.
Ill be reading the rest.
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Post by RubberPiggy on Mar 31, 2005 11:06:47 GMT -5
Thank you, Winston! I'm glad you're reading it!
As far as the plot is concerned, whether it's for better or worse, I'm writing it more like a TV show than a novel, in the way that the plot all just kind of continues and different things happen all the time, and it's not necessarily one big plot that builds up over time. If that very long sentence makes sense.
And thank you very much for the compliment about me writing for different characters! I enjoy getting inside the characters' heads to realize exactly what their reactions would be to different situations.
Glad you liked the fight scene, too.
I just want you guys to know, that when I read here that you guys have read my story, and you comment on it and stuff, it really does make me so happy. It makes my day. So I just want to thank you all for that.
I have realized that it takes longer to write for the already existing characters. Chapter Six prolly won't be up till tomorrow night.
~RP~
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Post by Winston on Mar 31, 2005 14:10:18 GMT -5
I wish people responded to MY STORY!!
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Post by RubberPiggy on Mar 31, 2005 15:20:55 GMT -5
I wasn't gonna read it, 'cause I didn't think I'd understand it, since I don't really know anything about Sliders, but I'll read it if you want me to and see what I can make of it. Later, tho. LOTS o' homework.
~RP~
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Post by Winston on Mar 31, 2005 15:42:20 GMT -5
I wasn't gonna read it, 'cause I didn't think I'd understand it, since I don't really know anything about Sliders, but I'll read it if you want me to and see what I can make of it. Later, tho. LOTS o' homework.
~RP~ I wrote a little guide in my discussion post, so read that. You dont have to know ANYTHING about the show really, to understand the story. All you really need to know is that there are alternate universes, and this takes place in one. Ill fix it up to be a bit more noobie friendly.
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Post by RubberPiggy on Apr 2, 2005 0:41:57 GMT -5
Chapter Six is up. Give me some good feedback on this, 'cause it was really hard to write and after all that hardness, I have no idea whether it's great or terrible. Thanks.
Chapter Seven coming soon.
~RP~
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Post by Winston on Apr 2, 2005 12:11:50 GMT -5
Good stuff. I definitely get the Xander vibe from your character, as if it was really him.
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Post by RubberPiggy on Apr 2, 2005 12:26:59 GMT -5
Really? Thanks, Winston! I was surprised to find myself having a bit of trouble with Xander in this chapter, so I'm glad to hear I got it right. I think my real challenge is gonna be Willow. We'll see how it turns out, but so far... challenging.
~RP~
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Post by RubberPiggy on Apr 4, 2005 16:37:18 GMT -5
Chapter Seven is up! And if you read it, please let me know what you think! I really appreciate ANYTHING you can tell me, even if it's just your personal oppinion. Thanks!
And to follow Dave's example... Pages: 17 Paragraphs: 250 Words: 6083
Chapter Eight coming soon!
~RP~
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