Weight of A Thousand Feathers

[CrazyDave]

Jim’s Thin Box Productions Presents:

"Weight of A Thousand Feathers"

Written and created by David Hoffman

“There was a time, before the creation of Man, where there was Nothing. But, this is a universe of opposites, and so, as there was Nothing , there was Everything.”

Excerpt from ‘Prothoplastus Fabula’
Author Unknown

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‘This isn’t cheating, it’s training.’ The drunken man thought to himself as he stared down his competition.

Barile Spree was a local business man who was rather wealthy. He sold several things, such as water, food, and other ‘Services’.

Ok, I’ll stop beating around the bush. He’s a mafia boss. A mafia boss who loves playing poker. A lot. Almost every week, he comes into the Horse Head Inn for the weekly poker tournament.

He usually wins too. But not today.

‘Cause today, he’s playing drunk ole me.’ The drunkard thought.

“Gimmie one.” He slurred out. The dealer causually slid a card to that man, who quickly deposited it in his hand. Mentally, he began counting his chips against his only remaining opponent.

Spree sweated behind his meager chip stack, his fingers fidgeting slightly. Every single hand, this drunk old man had taken his money. Every damn Hand! This had to stop, and stop now.

“Two.” Spree said gruffly.

The Drunk closed his eyes, swaying slightly with the alcohol, and mentally focused his mind. ‘The flows. Watch the flows…. Twisting, turning….flowing….’

Then the drunk man smiled. “I’ll put ya all in.” He slurred out.

“Call!” Spree shouted quickly. “I’ve got three Kings! Read um and weep!”

Spree reached across the table to grab the remaining chips, when the drunk started laughing. “Three kings? Dat’s it?” He quickly flashed his hand. “Fluch, buddy. All hearts.”

Spree twitched angrally. “You… you… you cheated somehow!”
“Ah… don’t be such a winer, Spreebee. I won, fair is square.”

Spree clenched his fist. “By tonight, you’ll be dead old man.” He threatened. Then he turned around and exited, throwing two or three people out of his way as he did.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…” The drunk muttered. “You don’t know how many times I’ve heard that one….”

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Drunky stumbled his way to the main gate of Halden village slowly and methodically, If you could call it that.

After is sixth or seventh trip (He wasn’t really in the mood to count, you understand) He noticed a small, dirty looking boy walking his way on a corse a bit too close for a nighttime walk.

It was a personal success that he didn’t even flinch when the boy picked his pocket.

As the boy quickly ran off with his poker winnings, the drunk continued on his drunken way. “Itsss almost sundown. I better get outa town.”

As he crossed the threshold of the village, he smiled with a sense of nostalgia. “I wonder where I should go next, huh?”

Without warning, he careened into the forest, slamming head first into a tree.

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“This way, men! He went out the gate!” Spree yelled to his enforcers.

Ten of the best gangsters money could buy, holding torches and weapons, headed straight into the surrounding forest. Suddenly, a groaning voice was heard within.

“Ouch. Well… I guess that’s one way to sober up…”

“In here, men!” Spree called out. They burst into a clearing, and found a man standing there holding his head. “What did I tell you old man? I told you I would kill you, and now I’m going to make good on my…my…”

Spree trailed off slowly. The man had turned to face him. With a quick motion, he shined his torch into the man’s face revealing…

Not that old man.

“Damnit. Did you see a drunk old man stubble through here?” Spree asked.

The man rubbed his head lightly. “That guy? Yeah, he went through here.”

Spree nearly jumped for joy. “Where’d he go?”

The man shrugged a little. “Well, you see, I was walking through here, when, all of the sudden, this drunk old man runs through here. Slammed into me something fierce, I’ll tell you. Smashed me right into this tree. Hurt like a bitch, let me tell you.”

Spree almost growled at the man. “Where did he go?” He asked again, far meaner sounding at that.

The man sweat dropped. “Sorry, sorry. He went that way.” He said, and then pointed off to his left.

“Let’s get him, men!” Spree yelled and the others took off. At the edge of the clearing, Spree stopped and turned back to the man. “Are those things…. Tattoos?” He asked, motioning to the man’s face.

“Huh?” The man said reaching up and touching his face. “Oh, yeah…. Uh… I guess so!” He stated smiling.

Spree twitched at the display, but quickly returned to the task at hand. He sped off, following his men into the night.

The man waited for a full minute before breathing out a sigh of relief. He then turned to his right and quickly headed into the other direction.

After traveling a safe distance away, the man adjusted the cloak around him and laid the hood around his shoulders.

“Damn. It’s true what that old man said; young people are getting crazier and crazier.” He said, turning to the stars.

He held the straight face for about ten seconds before he couldn’t hold it anymore and burst out laughing. “Ha Ha Ha! Young people? I’m the youngest of all of them!”

After rolling on the grass in a childlike manner, he wiped his eyes and sat up slowly. “Yeah, But I’m also older then all of them…” He said quietly.

He shook off those feelings. It wasn’t like him to be depressed for long anyway. “So,” He said unslinging a pack from his back and opening it, “Where do we go next, eh?”

From inside the pack, an unblinking white glow was his only answer.

“Well, we’re supposed to meet up with the guys in a month or two, so let’s head to the ‘battle zone’, or whatever everybody’s calling it nowadays.” The man said calmly.

Unblinking whiteness continued to radiate outward.

“Yeah, Yeah, I know, It’s about time to go back ‘Home’ as well.” The man said, as if someone had answered him. “But I’ve kind of gotten used to all this training I’ve been doing all this time, you know?”

Again, the man paused, listening to an answer only he could hear.

“Good point sword. It will be good to see her again.” He said, absentmindedly brushing a piece of white hair out of his face. “Well, we’ll go back after the meeting, how’s that?”

The man stood up and collected his pack. “Good good. After all….”

“…I want to see if ‘Wind and Flow’ can beat Mr. Silent.”

Astaroc the Blade smiled at the swords response. “Yeah, but maybe I’ll last a while longer than normal, right?”

Astaroc listened lightly, then his mouth turned into a frown. “I wasn’t THAT bad…”

“What? That didn’t happen!”

“Oh, sure that happened to, I’m SO Sure…” He responded sarcastically.

“WHAT?!?!?!?! HE DID NOT GIVE ME A WEDGIE!!!!!”

“You shut up! You were not there, so you don’t know anything at all!”

“I swear I’m going to sell you to the nearest pawn shop, you damn piece of metal!”

Astaroc wandered into the rising moon, arguing lightly with a sword.

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Adventure….. start!

[CrazyDave]

Jim’s Thin Box Productions Presents:

“Weight of A Thousand Feathers”

Written and created by David Hoffman

Chapter 1: The Things I Do For Food….

“Everything was a sentient being. It existed because He wished to exist, and She could control all within Itself. As such, Everything was the First God”

Excerpt from ‘Prothoplastus Fabula’
Author Unknown

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(To help lay out the early morning scene in this story, I’ve chosen yet another Song from Naruto to show the mood and the emotions of the time. The song is called Morning By Toshiro Masuda.)

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In the majestic beauty of the morning, the great red sun of the new day rose above the mountaintops, shining its life giving light upon the inhabitants of the planet. The wind blew lightly through the treetops, sending a collection of leaves through the air in a twisting spiral.

Astaroc stood and welcomed the day the same way he had for the past six months. He turned and spun, seeming almost to dance and sway to the invisible music that nature sung. Bending, twisting, and spinning, his body conformed and moved in a way that seemed almost spiritual.

For a momment,he was connected to the rising sun, and was part of the ritual of new day. As his hands moved upwards, his spirit called out to the rising ball of flame, coaxing it upwards to sit lazily in the sky as it always had. He spun then, moving his arms out the pull the wind, and sending it spinning around him like a top, and then releasing it onto its wayward course. Astaroc turned slightly to the rising sun, moving his hands in a seemingly simple gesture that was anything but. Only a studier of unarmed combat could see the motions for what they truly were; a style of bending and twisting, of simple moves and quick powerful strikes.

But, even those who knew the movement’s true purpose would compare the motions to a dance. The grace and balance the clocked man showed through his solitary movements were that of a master.

Astaroc let his mind settle into the gentle movements, as the wind danced with him fickly, first embracing him within the comfort of a slight breeze, and then disappearing in a moment. Within his mind, all Astaroc’s troubles suddenly seemed to disappear as the motions of his body became his only thoughts.

The dance wore down to a simple stance, one of good offensive and defensive movement that faced the rising sun. Astaroc smiled slightly, and let the wind blow his snow white hair out of his bright blue eyes. A light sheen of sweat covered his body, and his mussels itched, reminding him of the casual destruction that his strained mussels were now going through.

Astaroc looked down as the sun continued his assent. Suddenly, he lifted his head, and said calmly.

“I’m hungry.”

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Tye Moyer sighed.

‘What do I do now?’ he thought dejectedly. ‘I have to get to Kira’s side before tomorrow, but Yuric’s guards are everywhere. I can not go in the front way….’

As Tye continued to walk down the shabby, disgusting ghetto, he sighed. The economic differences in this section of town were very obvious, even more to one who was raised in finery like he was.

‘But what can I do about it?’ Tye grumbled. ‘What about Kira? How can I help her?’

Tye had thought long and hard about that question since he had received the invitation. There was no special message in the card, indicating that Kira didn’t really want him there at all.

But of course she didn’t want him there.

Who would want to invite their first love to her arranged wedding?

Tye sighed again, and then mentally checked himself. He was Tye Moyer! Heir to the Moyer fortune! Future lord of the eastern lands of the Kingdom of Putteria! He shouldn’t be sighing like some commoner, slowly slugging his way through a ghetto! He should be…. Be….. be….

Uh…….

What should he be doing?

The complete impossibility of what he wanted from Kira and what he could get stood in his way once again. Everything…was completely out of his control.

He sighed for the umpteenth time that day, and turned a sharp right, not really caring where he was going.

Big mistake.

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*grumble*

“Fuck!”

*rumble*

“Shit!”

*Grumble-rumble*

“Alright! Alright! I Fucking Get It!” Astaroc screamed.

The people standing near him quickly took five steps away from the obviously crazy man.

“I’m hungry.” Astaroc said sadly. “Worse, I have no money.” Astaroc told himself, his hand snaking around in his money pouch, hopping that some of his recent poker winnings had fallen out of its own pouch, but to no avail.

Stupid poor starving kid. Now he was Hungry!

*Grigg-grigg-ga-bubbly-ba*

“…… I hate my conscience…”

A scream in the alleyway nearby instantly cut through his self hating thoughts. Just by the lit within the slightly high-pitched scream indicated that whoever was screaming their head off was part of the nobility.

“Cha-ching!” Astaroc yelled gleefully, his eyes quickly turning into giant money symbols. He charged towards his new ‘employer’, imagining the food he would buy.

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‘Note to self: Thieves hang out in alleyways.’ Tye thought to himself.

“I said, Gimmie yer money, punk!” The knife wielding thug menaced, his hand slowly swaying back in forth, portraying a dance of death to come.

“Yeah. Hand it over. Yeah.” The big one muttered stupidly. Of course, you don’t say that to the face of a man with biceps the size of basketballs, no matter how stupid he is. Well, at least, not twice.

As Tye cowered next to a trash can in the middle of a dingy alley, he could only think of one thing.

‘Kira…. I’m sorry….’

The would-be thieves looked at each other and shrugged. The idiot wasn’t giving them the money. “I guess he needs a education on how dis thing works, eh?” The knife wielder said to his muscled companion.

“Yeah.” He replied.

“…. Learn a new word dumbass….” The smaller thief muttered.

“I blame the education system in these terrible times.” His friend replied.

The smaller thief turned away from the now softly crying, rocking young man cowering behind the trash can, and turned to his large friend, raising his eyebrow at the lack of the word ‘Yeah.’ Having known his friend for well over three years, the smaller thief had never heard one sentence without at least one ‘Yeah’ coming out of his mouth.

Sure enough, his burly friend was turning a deep maroon. His hands were quickly slapped over his mouth as his large head took on a color more fitting for a grape.

The knife thief raised his other eyebrow.

The large man’s eyes crossed, and he wavered unsteadily on his feet. In concern, the smaller thief opened his mouth to tell him to ‘just say it’. After all, it wasn’t really THAT big of a deal, right?

Suddenly, his large companion fell forward in a dead faint. His smaller friend jumped back out of the way to avoid his… statuesque friend as he slammed face first into the dirt. As he lost conscious, the big lug muttered out a quiet “Yeah.”

The remaining thief sweat dropped. Tye kept rocking, now muttering something about how ‘she was so beautiful that time in the garden.’

“Ok…..then…. uh… Gimmie your money?” the thief tried lamely. His heart just wasn’t in it anymore. ‘Oh, well. There was always tomorrow.’ He thought to himself.

“HEY YOU! Get away from him!” A new voice called out from the edge of the alley.

The small thief blinked. “Who….me?” he asked hesitantly.

“Yeah, you!” the odd cloaked man yelled. “I won’t let you injure some rich, innocent man before he buys me lunch!”

A blast of wind suddenly blew at the exact right direction to send a tumble weed across their path.

“….oh…..well….ok…” the thief muttered out. Then he noticed the newcomer had a sword.

Sword beats knife. Time for a tactical retreat.

“Look, man, I don’t want any trouble…”

“Oh…” Astaroc said in surprise. “Well, then… You don’t seem like bad people, so I guess you can leave.”

The thief blinked at that, but didn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. He quickly dragged off his friend, occasionally smacking his large friend into the sides of the alleyway.

Maybe it was Astaroc’s imagination, but he could swear he heard someone saying the word ‘Yeah’ after every collision. ‘Oh, well.’ He thought. ‘Time for my hero thing!’

“Are you ok sir? They didn’t…” Astaroc couldn’t finish his sentence as 120 Ibs of fifteen year old slammed into him, holding him in a tight hug.

“I wAS So sCarEd!!!!!!” Tye intermittenly cried and wailed.

Astaroc sweat dropped. ‘What a little weenie….’

After a couple of minutes, and a few seconds of sniffing, Tye was calm enough to wipe the sand that had somehow gotten into his eyes. Nope, he wasn’t crying, nope. Just stuff in his eyes is all. Nothing else. Whoever told you otherwise was just trying to belittle his very prestigious and famous name. So, they should be killed immediately. For spreading lies was one of the worst things a person could do to another person. And it was totally rude too! His mother had made this VERY clear to him back when he was a child, when he had fibbed that his younger brother had….

“Um….Excuse me?” His savior asked, shaking him out of his mental review of the situation, which seemed to feature two self urinating thieves that ran away at the very mention of his grand name. The man in front of him seemed to be suffering from a large collection of liquid on the back of his head. It looked quite heavy and uncomfortable, if his face was any indication.

“Oh…right…” Tye said, nodding his head slowly. “Where was I?”

Astaroc enacted his evil plan. “Um… you just said ‘What can I ever do to repay you?’”

“Really?” Tye asked. Something about this situation seemed off. Oh, well, he’d figure it out later. After the other man nodded, Tye asked “Well? What can I do?”

Astaroc smiled. Finally, his long quest reached an end.

“Feed me.”

Tye’s jaw hit the floor with a surprising clang.

Another tumble weed passed through the cramped alley.

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Omake1 : Welcome To Abu Ghraib

“Wake up, Mr. Hoffman.”

I slowly awoke, fighting a massive headache. Suddenly, I realized that something was wrong. I wasn’t lying down on a bed. In fact it felt like was in a chair with my hands tied behind my back. But that would be silly.

Opening my eyes, I saw I was in a dark room. A large metal desk in front of me shined with a strange light. This light came from two televisions set up on another desk in back of the first. There was a small pathway between the two desks, just enough room there for a man to walk through.

“Ah, you’re awake.” I heard and tried to move my head. To my surprise, two men in black suits and sunglasses walked between the TVs and me. They seemed…nondescript, almost like… some kind of secret agent.

“Mr. Hoffman, it has come to our attention that YOU…” The right man pointed directly at my chest “have not updated Weight of a Thousand Feathers since July 13th. The President is very unhappy about this fact.”

“….WHAT?!?!?! THAT’S WHY YOU DRUGGED ME AND TIED ME TO A CHAIR? AND… AND…. Did you just say the President?” I screamed.

“Everyone is allowed their own Hobbies, Mr. Hoffman. President W. Bush just…. Happens to like reading stories online.” The left one started.

“Wow…. Does he like it?”

The right one gave no physical sign, but I could kind of tell he was pissed. “Yes.
So much that he insisted that we…. Convince you to continue writing.”

I blinked at that. “Ok…. Convince me then.” Suddenly I smirked. What a great way to get free stuff from the government. “Be careful, I’m a tough sell!” I said smiling.

“Oh, I think this will be enough.” The left stated evenly, while the right put two ear plugs in. The left one then held up two tapes with large labels.

I nearly wet myself. “NO! Not THAT! Anything but THAT!” I screamed.

“I’m sorry Mr. Hoffman.” The right one said as the left put in his own ear plugs, “But we must force you to watch the whole thing.”

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(Two minutes later)

“It burns! Oh, god it burns!” I screamed writhing in agony. “This is cruel and unusual punishment!”

The lessons I learned that day were very important: 1: don’t piss off a President. 2: Never watch Gigli and Glitter at the same time.

“The Acting! It’s so Terrible! My eyes! They’re bleeding!!!”

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Sorry, I don’t know where this came from….. I blame the lack of Naruto…